This autumn I've found that my gift of seeing spirits is far more than that. I've also found my ability to pick up on other's emotions is also more than just a funny feeling. The hallucinations I saw when I was fighting depression in my teens was more than just images.
First the hallucinations. When I'm very stressed or in danger my mind shuts off. It's the brains way of protecting itself from permanent damage. Under this state I've very little awareness of what I'm doing or what's happened. As a teen, fighting depression and abused by teachers (they put the media reaction above my welfare), I started seeing green eyes and a male voice. This voice kept telling me "you're weak", "you're nothing" and "you're worthless". I dismissed it as the devil on my shoulder.
Within all of us, bar a few, lies our soul and a negative entity. This entity is what's commonly called the devil on our shoulder. These two forces battle with each other. So, in a healthy person, we live in a state of grey. A state where we are either good nor bad but balanced. However this state is not stable and fluctuates between the two. The problems come when one wins over the other.
Understand the world is in balance. Yes, there's a lot of bad things, there's also good...and there's crazy things too. It's all organized chaos. However when a negative entity over takes a person..it's like unleashing a nuclear bomb. Every action you make causes ripples. The nearest to your heart feels those ripples and reacts, sending out their own ripples. Next thing you know calm waters become a choppy sea.
That negative entity of mine wanted to destroy me. It distorted my views, caused a lot of mental health problems (read internal wars), made enemies out of strangers and generally a pain in the backside. Over the years it had left me with a lot of deep scars in my soul, shut my third eye off and left me drained. I had surgery to have my entity removed. It took 4 angels, an archangel and God 2 days to fix me. They used a phoenix feather and a whole veil of angel tears (a single tear can heal a battalion). If it was delayed by a few days...my soul would have been destroyed.
I received an angel blessing. There are 26 different types and each shows what level of protection that soul is under. Understand that these are rarely given, are earned and come with responsibility. I've had two black witches attack me since I received my blessing. One wanted my power to herself, using my ex and curses to get to me, but failed. She was dragged to the council and her third eye closed. She went from happy and carefree to deeply depressed overnight. The other turned up at my house. I have angel markings on my doors. 2 angels greeted him, if he was able to get past them, an archangel waited upstairs with me.
Now for the angels on my shoulder. They're not on my shoulder per say but they do watch over me. In addition to my blessing I have a guardian angel mark. That means an angel is making sure I stay safe. There's also 2 other angels looking out for me as well. I also have several spirit guides and a familiar. It's not a collection but a family.
Now don't go thinking this makes my life all fluffy. No, I still have to deal with stuff life throws at me, I still get sick and still battle with what I see in the mirror. Just means I can look deeper into things and ask questions but not always get an answer. I'm not only a witch but also what's known as an empath. So I can pick up on other people's emotions, the more I care for a person the more intense the feeling, if they're telling the truth or not, etc.
I know this will be a challenge for readers to wrap their heads round and accept. Notability Christians who think all witches are bad and will go to hell. If it makes things easier for you, then feel free to read the above as a work of fiction, an idea I've been toying in my mind for awhile.
My wish for the new year: To be filled with the people I love.
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