Time

..is something we all have and it always seems like it's slipping away. So I'm going to, or at least try, make the most of it.
Yesterday I had aimed to hand out 10 CVs to local employers..didn't hand over a single 1. After 2 years of unemployment it's disheartening..even more is hearing that people younger than you are getting jobs you want. But I have to remind myself that I am no longer cheap labour. I have little experience but I haven't sat on my backside doing nothing. I've been volunteering, studying, self-studying, keeping active. Apparently more than what most people my age are doing. Thankfully my E-CV is doing slightly better with 3 site views this week. Better than nothing.

The things I'm self-learning include German and guitar. Partly out fun, partly cause I have time and partly cause I love my sister. She's German and went to great lengths to learn English so it feels right to reciprocate that. Guitar..well I had originally been inspired by my ex fiancée..of course after breaking up with her I hadn't picked it up for awhile. But after deciding not to take up singing again and the ordeal of perusing singing lessons; I picked my guitar up and I'm now looking into a global company based in Yorkshire for grading. Maybe one day I can earn some pocket money busking on market day. :)

Make no mistake I did and I'm slowly coming back round to enjoy singing but I found when I went for lessons all that was joyful was sucked out of me. It is hard work. It is no different to weight training. You are working out muscles around the mouth, larynx and diaphragm. You're training them to move in certain ways and drilling those movements into them. With weight training you're training your muscles, usually in isolation (depending on what training you're doing), to lift heavy weights and you're doing it in certain movements. Guitar is just as hard work..training fingers to move in certain patterns.

~ Life is hard but it is short ~

~ my sister ~

That tingling feeling of anticipation mixed with the fear of the unknown and the desire to live or be rebellious. For a moment, breath caught, a beat skipped. The rush. The thrill. The excitement.

All this from ordering and printing off a ticket. I haven't had a period of my life that felt this good in a long time. So consumed by daily life and humdrum that I had forgotten what it was like to really live.

I'm so thankful for my big sister. Her love and support gives me a reason to live, makes breathing that bit more pleasurable and hope for the future. ok she's crazy and a bad influence but i love her anyway. She might live in another country, not blood or legally related but that doesn't matter. It doesn't make me love her any less. Nor does it stop me from telling her how much i love her or sharing moments with her like sunsets, songs, poems etc.

Finding My Voice

Once upon a time I used to sing in 2 choirs, school gospel and my local church, until life got in the way.


I started singing after I beat the first round of depression at 15 but at 16 the second bout took everything I found pleasure in and cast it to the wind. Up until now I've had no urge to sing. No desire to pursue the pleasures I once had.


I'm thankful for Nightwish's Storytime. In 2 days after watching the video and hearing it for the first time my voice has returned..rusty, out of tune and rather raw. But the pleasure is back. I even got told to shut up lol. So perhaps I should consider re-investing in singing lessons? 


My priorities in my finances would certainly have to change. I'm even considering getting back into cycling..I'd need to fix the bike, get a new helmet etc.


I feel like my life is taking another twist and it's been too long since I was this excited. :D

Travel Planning

I'm kind of excited but nervous. i've been planning a trip out of town to see Nightwish live..but it means traveling on my own and staying overnight in a city.
being a country girl doing that seems odd..i've visited cities near by. they were grotty, dirty and tense. i've never been to this city so i hope it's better than the one's i've been to.
the plan is to get there early via the train, explore a little and take a few shots. hopefully i won't get hassled for using my camera..then see nightwish in the afternoon. sleep..although i'll probably need peeling off the ceiling if i can take photos..the next day, check out, explore a little more and head home.
well that's the plan at least..whether i can pull it off without arguments with my family is another matter..

Joining

So after joining Google+ when it first came out i've only JUST got round to exploring it's features...this should be interesting as to what i dig up. :)