Listening

Those who know me know I can't stop myself from helping people in need. Be it general advice, dealing with mental health issues, outdoor advice (ranging from odd gardening tips to bits I've picked up from bushcraft), health and fitness, food and so on.

Back in late March my mother had to go to hospital to sort her high blood pressure out. It shocked her and father. For the first time in my life I saw fear in his eyes. He asked me to help her. I had told her what she needed to do 5 years ago. She didn't listen then and she's not listening now.

Day to day she hasn't been listening nor paying attention to other people in the house. She uses her high blood pressure and agoraphobia as excuses for preferential treatment. On the anxiety scale agoraphobia is pretty low whereas, my condition, social anxiety is pretty high up the scale. Do I want preferential treatment? No. I want someone to ask if I'm ok and listen to what I have to say. It's not much to ask for from my parents. So I've been giving her the silent treatment as I'm fast running out of civil options.

Most conditions can be treated through good diet, at the very least reduce the symptoms, even mental health. 5 years ago she wanted to lose weight. She was eating fad dieting products and not doing much exercise, mostly cardio. I told her to drop the fad products (eg diet, low fat, fat free, no sugar etc), eat her veg, fats and reduce carbs and do some weights.

The latest diet thankfully has most of the above. She's focused on cardio ie walking around the block. Although it's stopped during her period. She's also using the punishment reward method ie if she doesn't lose weight she's doing a mile on the cross trainer. She hates it and she doesn't even use it properly. She won't let me help her with her workouts cause she knows I'll make her do them right. This method is just going to set her up for failure and reduce her self esteem...if she has any left.

Now my best friend asked me for health and fitness advice, since both he and his dad are having a competition between them, to see who can lose the most weight. His dad has chosen to go to the gym for an hour every day. I asked what my best friend usually eats and what his goals are. From that we worked out a mini plan. It's not set in stone, cause life happens, but it gives him the freedom to adjust it to his lifestyle. He's dropped 2 jean sizes in 3 months while his father has dropped 1. Proves what happens when people do listen to me.

Listen not to reply but to understand