While out running I thought about what I was running away from and what I was running to. Her. The way I let my emotions take control and became the way I behaved. I was a complete, put politely, foul mule. That night I made my way round to hers to apologize for the way I behaved, the way I treated her, the way I spoke to her. It was unacceptable. Frankly I'd have given myself a black eye! I'm not violent..unless you consider death by cuddles violence..
She wasn't in, however, she did contact me when she found out I had been round. I was lucky that she wanted to speak to me at all. We arranged to meet in the woods to talk. Seems we always have our serious talks in there. But we spoke openly and honestly. I told her what I thought of a text she had sent me earlier..that maybe she regretted what she did and that she does have feelings for me. Also told her I'd leave the door open to friends or relationship whichever she decides. I know what I want but she needs to work out what she wants and how she feels.
A couple of days ago she decided on staying friends. She still doesn't know how she feels and thinks it'll take awhile for her to work that out. I'm gonna wait anyway. It's hard some days, longing for what we once had and hoping we'll be stronger but, knowing it may never be anything more than - just friends. regardless I'm thankful and happy she's back in my life.
Love is a bird. Let it go and if it comes back it is yours.
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